The First Step Into a Relationship
Have you ever dated someone whom, after meeting up with them a few times, you call them and didn’t get a response? You waited for some time to pass because you wanted to respect their time, nor did not want to come off like an eager-beaver. However, you were trying to get ahold of them, but after about a day or so passing, you start to get concerned? You begin to think, “I know that they had a life before I made my entrance, but if there was mutual interest from the start, why the lack of response?” Then the next time that you see them, they greet you happily, and you look at them begrudgingly because you know that their phone works, and now this person is acting as though your phone call never came through?
So after speaking with them for some time, you finally muster the courage to ask, “Why they didn’t call you back?” They simply reply
It was only then that you did not think to text because, in your mind, a simple call would be a better choice. But the person you’re interested in starts to explain that texting is better for them because they are at work most of the time and can send a quick text to avoid getting on the phone. Now you feel left in the dark because you did not know that texting was their preferred way of being communicated with.
However, I dare say that that you neglected to ask during your first meet! Not that either form of communication is worse or better than the other, its a matter of individual preference. Just as everyone has a love language, we all have a communication language.
I have learned that one of the best questions that you can ask a person at the beginning of you getting to know them is, “What is your communication language?” continued by “How would you like to be communicated with? Via phone, text, video chat, email? This is my preferred way, and if I can know what yours is, we can then meet in the middle as we proceed to get to know one another.”
Learn communication language early within a relationship so that you do not have to wonder or assume whether the other person is on the same page, while they could be in another book. This should be your first step into a relationship.
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TRANSITIONS: Balanced on Shaky Ground. A story that will help you in hard times!