They Don’t Want to be Saved
The Reality of You
Have you ever been in a relationship with a person who wanted to “fix” you? You share time and energy getting to know this individual, and each moment that you show another side of yourself, you unveil something that does not quite fit? You feel that you finally have someone who enjoys your company, but confuse early desire for true love? So to please this person, you try your best to fit within their frame only to chip away slowly the reality of you? Now you keep up the image from the first night because your partner is not wanting you to take off the spanks!
For the longest time, you thought that if you could find “the one,” you would finally get to let your hair down. Enhance your true self and have someone willing to help you become your best version. However, as the relationship grew, this person starts to give you ultimatums so that you could keep your relationship status. They posed that being alone is a disease that nobody wanted to catch. Therefore, you stayed for fear of contracting a cold. They meant well and thought that you were the perfect candidate to mold into their version of a “better you.”
Are You Truly Ready?
You realized, after being in this relationship for a while, that you were not truly ready to be in one. You bought into the lie that being single was unhealthy, so you needed to have someone to hold you at night. You also realize that the person you’re with did not have their stuff together as they claimed before they got you. You realized that they did not want you, but a fantasy. Just that you were conveniently caught within a dream and a look with no depth. You realized that when you met, you were broken and vulnerable. Then you were the perfect candidate for being a damsel. You needed a hero and desperately needed to be rescued.
The Way of The World
I have been that guy and also been on the receiving end of a young lady wanting to fix me. Being on both sides of the table is neither exciting or to be envied. It’s an epidemic that is shaping the narrative of how society wants to do relationships. Of course, there are no perfect people in the world, just developing ones. This narcissistic wave of the relational construct is not the answer. Yet when it goes on sale, it is sold out before the store opens!
What is Your Worth?
We need to get out of the business of saving people! We grow up wanting to help others, and so we think that we can become saviors. Trained to fix problems, solve puzzles, and provide solutions. However, we were not supposed to add people to the equation. Rather work on things that will help them. People are not projects… people are investments. However, if you are not mature enough to know your worth, you will not seek to find the worth in others.
People today who have experienced this fall for individuals quickly, and when they feel that the other person is trying to change them, they offensively run to another relationship because they don’t want to be saved. However, I dare say that there is another way…
For more content, be sure to get my latest groundbreaking book:
TRANSITIONS: Balanced on Shaky Ground. A story that will help you in hard times!
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