32 HARD Lessons (Part 2 of 6)

6. Shut Down The Pile-Up

Spending time as an Uber driver, I’ve received all kinds of requests from people who wanted to make their riding experience more comfortable for them. Even though it is a riding service, some take their requests too far. At the expense of consideration, many of those requests are no longer granted due to advanced disregard.

For example, a person may ask if they could add a 5th person to a four-person ride (while promising to give extra cash for the trouble). They guarantee that the additional person could just sit on someone’s lap during their ride. The rider then asks to change the music and turn it up to feel more at home. Once they are good and comfortable, one person rolls down their window and begin to vape an e-cig. Getting closer to their destination, they see a Taco Bell and ask to grab a bite along the way. Immediately taking out a loose fit taco, sauce drips on your seat. Once you finally arrive at the designated stop, a final last-minute request is asked to provide an extra stop for the 5th wheeled person. Now that you have extended more courtesy, that last person exits your vehicle, slams the door and forgets to add a tip. As a final straw, you look at your back seat to find leftover Taco Bell wrappers on your seat.

How would you feel after that experience?

Would you feel that you had provided excellent customer service? Would you feel that you were just a doormat? Or Would you feel that you would have to set some boundaries moving forward? Over the years, I have learned that people will always get away with what they can get away with. With no regard for others around them, as long as they get accommodated, all is well. Nevertheless, at the expense of disrespecting others along the way, I have learned to shut down unwanted requests early!

I have learned to set boundaries in my life that would protect my peace, keep respect, and save relationships. Without having things in place, people will pile up unwanted requests until you feel taken for granted. Do yourself a favor, learn to say “NO” early, and shut down the pile-up!


7. Your Ideas Are Assigned to You

Nothing is as powerful as an idea. The development we see around us walking outside, from the movies we watch, the music we listen to, then to the products we buy. All of the innovative creativity that we share on a project all come from an idea. The human experience is full of individuals that have shared their thoughts that help advance the future, as we know it. We were all created with a mind. Inside your mind, thoughts percolate. Once a thought is ignited, it paves the way for an idea. An idea produces a plan; a plan to a product; a product that solves a problem; a problem that was discovered; a discovery by someone who had an issue; an issue that was shared by many; now it’s time to find a solution; a solution that percolates a thought; a thought, turned into an idea.

Mental health is drastically crucial so that we can operate out of a sound mind. For if our minds are rational, we would make better decisions and create things that make the world a better place.

We all have people whom we aspire to, but not for us to fully imitate. Our ideas are essential for progress as individuals and should be tapped into for personal advancement. However, if we do have an idea, we should embrace it. It may be the key to your potential, ideas, and success. Unused potential leaves dormant areas in your life that should be kindled.

Now that you know the importance of your ideas, the world is waiting! Even though we have almost 8 billion people on the planet, there is an extreme need for ideas to be implemented to help the next billion to survive. We have 360k people born a day, and we individually hold a responsibility to make our mark. The purpose that we were born with is to be dug out with the ideas that we find. Those ideas that grant us distinction. Set apart from the masses, to help the masses. Take on your purpose 

like an authorization! This is the reason why your ideas are assigned to YOU.

8. Your Selection is Key

If you are a fan of Marvels The Avengers, then you know the quality that can come from a strong team. Every person had been selected by Nick Fury to assemble the best of the best to accomplish an almost impossible task. Now each member of the team individually was skilled in their own right and widely respected in their universe. But to address a global attack, it would have to take more than one hero to defend the world from extraterrestrials.

Now back to reality, how do you think Steve Jobs selected his team to create technology that changed the world? To become critically acclaimed, one of the best companies of all time. To become a business icon and be one of the most studied people regarding business in the world. With three feature films depicting him, three significant documentaries exploring him, and countless published books and articles dissecting him. In the beginning, he assembled people who were strong in their expertise. People specifically placed to get his ideas lifted and provided products that would advance our way of life in the future. However, it was not WHAT he was making that was so intriguing, it was in HOW it was presented.

He presented his products into the world as a lifestyle around his products and what having them would do to advance you as a person.

To get that accomplished, you must have the right people on the team. Don’t waste time with people you don’t see a future with! A mentor once told me that there are three groups of people that you should have in your life at all times:

  1. People that pour into you (Mentors/ Icons/ Leaders)
  2. People who you pour into (Customers/ Mentees/ Students)
  3. People that help you along the way (Employees/ Cohorts/ Teammates)

We love the avengers because we see ourselves as the heroes of our own story and understand the need to have a strong team to help us tackle the tough tasks of life. We need leaders to show us the way, become students of the craft, then serve what we have to help others. Apple is an inspiration to many, and businesses want to model Steve Jobs so that we could serve our communities with the best of the best. Your teamwork makes the dream work; therefore, your selection is vital!


TRANSITIONS: Balanced on Shaky Ground

9. The First Step Into a Relationship

Have you ever dated someone whom, after meeting up with them a few times, you call them and didn’t get a response? You waited for some time to pass because you wanted to respect their time, nor did not want to come off like an eager-beaver. However, you were trying to get ahold of them, but after about a day or so passing, you start to get concerned? You begin to think, “I know that they had a life before I made my entrance, but if there was mutual interest from the start, why the lack of response?” Then the next time that you see them, they greet you happily, and you look at them begrudgingly because you know that their phone works, and now this person is acting as though your phone call never came through?

So after speaking with them for some time, you finally muster the courage to ask, “Why they didn’t call you back?” They simply reply

‘You should have texted me.”

It was only then that you did not think to text because, in your mind, a simple call would be a better choice. But the person you’re interested in starts to explain that texting is better for them because they are at work most of the time and can send a quick text to avoid getting on the phone. Now you feel left in the dark because you did not know that texting was their preferred way of being communicated with.

However, I dare say that that you neglected to ask during your first meet! Not that either form of communication is worse or better than the other, its a matter of individual preference. Just as everyone has a love language, we all have a communication language.

I have learned that one of the best questions that you can ask a person at the beginning of you getting to know them is, “What is your communication language?” continued by “How would you like to be communicated with? Via phone, text, video chat, email? This is my preferred way, and if I can know what yours is, we can then meet in the middle as we proceed to get to know one another.”

Learn communication language early within a relationship so that you do not have to wonder or assume whether the other person is on the same page, while they could be in another book. This should be your first step into a relationship.


10. Your “Type” Can be Dangerous

Have you ever wrote down a list of what you would like in a spouse? Some relationship gurus would advocate for you to write a list full of all the details so that you can know what you want when you see it. Others tell you to rip up that list and let life just hit you with a person that would be good for you. Some say that you have to become the list you write for you to manifest to the person you desire. Then you get all kinds of testimonies from people who lucked up by following all of these philosophies. You also see people that get together without using any of these tactics, so is the list even necessary.

I dare say that keeping a list could keep you single longer than you would like. Your list can prevent unwanted attributes early on in a relationship; therefore, it saves you time. However, it could make you fall in love with an imaginary perfect person (which does not exist). You can go on about your life and meet someone quick without reservation. However, if you become intimate too soon, the rest of your relationship is playing catch up. Just to find out that you got in too deep to leave, so you stay to fix past wounds. Then when you strive to become the list that you create, you are promised that you will meet your match with time. However, you could become addicted to perfectionism and claim that you are never ready because you are not where you want to be yet, so you stay single. Then some of your goals become unrealistic.

I was asked by several women this year what my “type” was, and I was wise enough not to share with them. Not to say that I don’t have one, it was just not my place to share, provided that the interest was not mutual.

I do not believe that we should demonize people who do have a “type” and pressure them to settle for what they don’t want. That’s just a prerequisite for a future cheater. To bring balance, I believe that our “type” should evolve as we mature. I think that we are ready to date when we can get over our past hurts and have a desire to live out our purpose in life. It’s good to know yourself and be open to learning new things. It’s good to know that you cannot accomplish everything by yourself, and asking for help is not weak. It’s also ok to face rejection and try again if need be.

Your “type” can change as you evolve as a person, but it could be a hindrance if you stay stuck on an old mindset. We have to realize that we will forever be improving as individuals, and we have to allow ourselves to grow. Therefore, giving grace for others to develop as well. This is why your “type” can be dangerous.


Stay tuned for the continuation of 32 hard lessons. If these lessons that I have learned helped you in any way, which one stuck out the most thus far? 

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