Your “Type” Can be Dangerous

The List

Have you ever wrote down a list of what you would like in a spouse? Some relationship gurus would advocate for you to write a list full of all the details so that you can know what you want when you see it. Others tell you to rip up that list and let life just hit you with a person that would be good for you. Some say that you have to become the list you write for you to manifest to the person you desire. Then you get all kinds of testimonies from people who lucked up by following all of these philosophies. You also see people that get together without using any of these tactics, so is the list even necessary.

The Effect

I dare say that keeping a list could keep you single longer than you would like. Your list can prevent unwanted attributes early on in a relationship; therefore, it saves you time. However, it could make you fall in love with an imaginary perfect person (which does NOT exist). You can go on about your life and meet someone quick without reservation. However, if you become intimate too soon, the rest of your relationship is playing catch up. Just to find out that you got in too deep to leave, so you stay to fix past wounds. Then when you strive to become the list that you create, you are promised that you will meet your match with time. However, you could become addicted to perfectionism and claim that you are never ready because you are not where you want to be yet, so you stay single. Then some of your goals become unrealistic.

I was asked by several women this year what my “type” was, and I was wise enough not to share with them. Not to say that I don’t have one, it was just not my place to share, provided that the interest was not mutual.

Bring Balance

I do not believe that we should demonize people who do have a “type” and pressure them to settle for what they don’t want. That’s just a prerequisite for a future cheater. To bring balance, I believe that our “type” should evolve as we mature. I think that we are ready to date when we can get over our past hurts and have a desire to live out our purpose in life. It’s good to know yourself and be open to learning new things. It’s good to know that you cannot accomplish everything by yourself, and asking for help is not weak. It’s also ok to face rejection and try again if need be.

Your “type” can change as you evolve as a person, but it could be a hindrance if you stay stuck on an old mindset. We have to realize that we will forever be improving as individuals, and we have to allow ourselves to grow. Therefore, giving grace for others to develop as well. This is why your “type” can be dangerous.

For more content, be sure to get my latest groundbreaking book:

 TRANSITIONS: Balanced on Shaky Ground. A story that will help you in hard times!